10.23.2009

Artikel Kontroversial Di Kalangan BuSui Ituh...

Kemarin dapet tweet yang isinya membahas artikel yang ditulis di The Jakarta Post.com tanggal 20 October 2009. Judul artikelnya " Live porn aboard an economy train? " aja udah mengundang keingintahuan. Belon lagi ditambah banyak komen mengenai artikel ini di tweets dan di milis kesayangan ibu-ibu menyusui.


Gw jadi penasaran pengen baca sendiri...dan inilah gw kutip artikel yang kontroversial itu dari The Jakarta Post. Yuks kita baca sama-sama :


" One day last week I took the train, economy-class, from Sawah Besar in Central Jakarta to Depok in West Java. It was 11:30 a.m., the sun was beating down and it was hot, all the train passengers were sweating heavily in the airless carriage.

I was standing near two mothers sat with their babies aged about 12-18 months old, who were enjoying the breeze coming in through the carriage windows.

Twenty minutes went by, it was getting hotter, and one of the toddlers, looking tired, started crying. The wailing baby grasped her mother*s shirt and tugged, fussing and wriggling, throwing her body from right to left in her mother's arms. Maybe because of the hot weather, or due to hunger, or tiredness.

Standing around the mother were several male passengers. Endless minutes later, the howling baby was still struggling and grasping at her mother*s shirt. I watched the mother and child; the baby's anguish, the mother's anxiety and her countless efforts to console her baby, all to no avail. Passengers started to feel irritated by the wailing.

As the crying became even louder, the mother gave up and slowly opened her shirt a little and offered her breast to the baby. Within a half second, the baby stopped crying and looked content. That, then, was the reason she had been crying for more than 20 minutes. I couldn't ignore the temptation of watching them, so I continue to look, marveling at how the baby became so calm after getting what she wanted, and how the male passengers were enjoying looking at a woman with her breast showing. There were six men around her, and they were avidly watching the breast-feeding process.

As a woman, I felt embarrassed. Really. However, for me, this was not the first time, 10 years ago, when I used to take the train every day, I was always coming across similar situations to today's. How can a baby exploit their own mother*s privacy just to satisfy their hunger or thirst? Yes, I know, little babies have not learned yet how to be reasonable. They cry to get what they need. If, at the time, you had been in my position, I bet you wouldn*t have stopped looking at them either, just like the group of men, who all enjoyed free porn that hot day. You would not only have felt amused, but astonished, at the fact that little babies have such great power to control their mothers and get what they want.

After this baby had calmed down, the second baby, about the same age as the first, watching her little friend suckling her mother's breast, perhaps, felt envious. So this baby then began to wail, with the same volume as had the first. But this baby's mother was wearing Muslim attire, which meant according to Islamic law she ought not show any part of the body forbidden to be seen by the opposite sex (aurat) and it would have been very awkward for her if she had opened part of her clothing to feed her baby. Therefore, she did not, she ignored the baby*s tantrum, even when the baby began to pull at her mother*s shirt with all her strength. Fifteen minutes later, the baby was still screaming, but her mother still did not offer her her breast.

That baby must have been very puzzled, upset and then distraught at not getting what she wanted. Why could her little companion get her needs met so easily, and yet she just had to accept that her mother wouldn't fulfill her needs?

The train scene became an amazing drama, a live performance from the mothers and babies. The first mother gave in to her baby's demands, while the second mother decided not to show her breast in public.

What would I do if I had a baby forcing me to open my shirt in front of a hundred strangers on the train? Frankly speaking, I have no idea, but for mothers who have experienced this situation, they have only two choices: offer the breast and see their baby content, or refuse and ignore the baby*s tantrum.

Porn is one of the most popular issues in society, as every time porn appears on television, many people and organizations are ready to demonstrate, but do they even know what has been happening on the trains all these years?

I realize I haven't got concrete empirical research data yet on how many mothers have ever opened their blouses and revealed their breasts to men in order to fulfill their babies' needs. It would be funny, and controversial, if this was treated and legalized as normal - and not porn."



Penulisnya : Mayasari Oey...


Banyak comment yang berdatangan menanggapi tulisan Mayasari oey ini. Bahkan ada yang menyalahkan The Jakarta Post kok bisa-bisanya artikel "picisan" kayak gini bisa dimuat di Jakarta Post.


Well, gw sendiri gak tahu kenapa Ms. Mayasari Oey bisa berpendapat kayak gini. Tapi gw percaya bahwa gak cuma Mayasari Oey, tapi masih banyak sebenarnya masyarakat kita yang merasa malu menyusui depan publik dan akhirnya memilih menyodorkan botol susu formula ke anaknya. Yang bikin ngenes, yang merasa malu ini juga datang dari kalangan well-educated. Coba, kalo bukan dari kalangan berpendidikan masa bisa nulis artikel di jakarta Post dengan Bahasa Inggris cas cis cus gitu?? Termasuk ibu-ibu muda yang pernah komen langsung ke gw soal menyusui.


Ada juga penolakan untuk menyusui datang dari ibu-ibu muda yang lebih mementingkan gaya dan malu kalo bagian dadanya keliatan di depan publik lagi menyusui.


Hello??? Ibu muda ini malu keliatan breast nya waktu menyusui di depan publik, tapi bisa melenggang-lenggok penuh percaya diri dengan high heel, skinny jeans, tank top dengan potongan menonjolkan sedikit breast?! Bedanya apa toh, Mbak? Wong sama-sama nyembul kok...


Gw sendiri untungnya kenal dengan alat bantu namanya "nursing apron". Jadi bisa bebas menyusui di publik kalo emang kepepet gak nemu Nursing Room.


Kalopun kelupaan atau ketinggalan tuh perangkat, ya mau gimana lagi, yang ada di benak Ganesh kalo mo bobo dan ada mommynya, dia tahunya harus nenen. terpaksalah keluarin alat darurat kayak kain gendong, selimut Ganesh atau apalah buat nutupin "sembulan" nya. heu heu


Gw juga nanya beberapa kaum Adam soal ibu menyusui di depan publik, apakah mereka merasa hor*y kalo melihat dada menyembul gitu. Ada yang menjawab mereka langsung manglingin muka *terutama kalo ibu muda dan cantik*, ada yang ngaku biarpun keliatan juga ilfil lah *soalnya yang menyusui niy udah emak-emak*..wong ibu itu lagi nenen anaknya. So, para pria pun menanggap bahwa itu proses yang alami. Bukan pertunjukan yang gemana getooh.


Gak ngerti juga apakah Mayasari oey seorang ibu atau bukan, tapi pastinya jika bener dia wanita sejati, tentunya berharap menjadi seorang ibu. Sekarang atau suatu hari nanti.


Dan sayang sekali, dia belum pernah merasakan bagaimana nikmatnya jika anak kita menangis, minta nenen, ribut di depan umum, saat kita sodorkan breastfeeding, anak itu langsung menyambar, tersenyum memandang ibunya, tangannya sesekali bermain-main menggelitik ibunya, bermain di tubuh ibunya, dan kemudian perlahan-lahan tidur lelap dengan damai.
Suatu saat nanti cobain deh, Ms.Mayasari..jika punya kesempatan menyusui dengan loving and caring, pasti deh ketagihan..


Masya Allah, itulah indahnya jadi seorang ibu! Usaha untuk memberikan yang terbaik untuk anaknya adalah keinginan semua ibu.
Repotnya jadi Ibu gak sebanding dengan indahnya perasan luar biasa menjadi seorang Ibu..apalagi ibu yang diberikan kesempatan untuk menyusui anaknya kapan saja.

5 comments:

  1. dear Indah, sama nih, lagi ngikutin diskusi ini juga di milis... Mungkin penulisnya belum menjadi ibu atau malah tidak menyusui anaknya...

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  2. Mbak Dewi,
    Iya emang lagi rame. Di tweeter semalam juga rame pada ngebahas masalah artikel ini.

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  3. Wah ketinggalan sepur nih, lama gak nengok milist :-)

    Hehehe yang sabar mbak...jangan emosi. Kalau saya mikirnya malah gini, harusnya di KA ada tuh nursing room. Ibu2 yang menyusui nyaman dan para kaum adam, juga org2 yg berpandangan spt Mbak Mayasari Oey ikut nyaman juga. Soal siapa yg berhak ke nursing room, ya di buat lah sistemnya. Gak nyambung ya dengan artikelnya? :D

    Saya sendiri termasuk golongan emak2 cuek kalau sudah menyangkut anak tercinta. Lha anak minta nenen itu hak anak je. Jadi anak minta, ya langsung deh buka warung. Eh..saya malah gak punya nursing apron tuh, kalau kepepet gak ada nursing room, ya ditup aja pakai jarik/kain gendongan hehehe

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  4. BunDit,
    Aku juga kadang kalo kelupaan bawa nursing apron suka nutupin make selimutnya ganesh atau kain gendongan. Multifungsi heu heu

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  5. sebagai ibu yg jg menyusui, aku suka sedih klo terkadang baca reply/komentar dari para ibu menyusui yg keras/pedas dan judgemental, dan maka dari itu cukup banyak akhirnya para ibu yg mestinya bisa kita bantu kasih informasi lebih dgn cara yg lebih simpatik tanpa tendensius/judgemental. Klo baca2 sih sptnya memang si penulis msh muda yah, bukan seorang ibu, tp alangkah baiknya klo reply kita mengenai tulisannya itu jg lbh informatif dan less judging, after all, kita lbh 'pinter' dalam hal ini, kenapa membalas dgn sama 'kasar'?
    also, walaupun sempat merasa tersinggung jg dgn tuduhannya, tp sbnrnya aku merasa kenapa memaksakan orang lain utk comfortable dgn sesuatu whilst kita sendiri mgkn jg punya hal2 tertentu yg kita gak comfortable lihat di muka publik? so aku lbh suka klo mulai dgn effort spt ngenalin nursing apron lbh luas, bhw klo kita lg menyusui dan pergi dgn baby ya mohon dibawa lah si apron, krn aku pun jg gak mau sembarang ngeluarin bagian badan tanpa penutup, bukannya malu lho, justru aku respect pd orang lain yg bisa jd gak comfort dgn itu. so aku selalu usahakan well prepared, nursing apron or paling gak selimut/bedong malah sarung orang kadang aku pinjam klo urgent, spy bagian badan kita tertutup lah, atau ada usaha utk nutup, krn gimana pun jg, meski di Quran (bagi yg muslim) pun disebut menyusui sampai 2 tahun, pastinya gak jg disebutkan it's OK utk buka baju dan mengeluarkan bagian tubuh depan umum tanpa penutup.

    ReplyDelete